All of dad's favourite phrases!!

Got this wonderful idea from Joey to record all of dad's favorite quotes. And guys out there who knew him, if you remember any that isn't here, go ahead and reply to the post! So here it goes!

"Its your pigeon not mine"

"There are no two ways about it"

"Tickety-Boo"

"The point at issue"

"Don't care two hoots"

"The point of issue"

(Most of the phrases are British in origin! This isn't surprising considering his father was a Subedar Major Honorary Captain in the British Indian Army and that he himself studied at the King George's.)

Patriotism And Daddy

We knew dad as a very sensitive and emotional person. It did not take much to make him emotional. In fact any sports match between India and Pakistan made him live the war all over again. This attitude touched all of us as kids. We would be mighty disappointed if India lost to Pakistan, and if India won our joy would know no bounds.
Even today when I hear the National Anthem I cannot help feeling overwhelmed and somehow dad comes to my mind.
I saw my dad cry for the first time when I was very young, in Gulbarga. Indira Gandhi was arrested during emergency. I did not understand the gravity of the situation then but knew that it meant a lot to my dad.
The congress party represented for him - India's struggle for freedom and its achievements thereafter. He would get into heated arguments if anyone spoke a word against it. Indira Gandhi was a woman he admired a lot. He even took me to the barber (the army ones!) and made him give me 'Indira Gandhi Haircuts'.
I remember faintly that once to watch a semi-finals hockey match between India and Pakistan we all got up at three or four in the morning! India lost and we were all so disappointed. Dad swore that day that it would be the last match he would witness. Of course the very next match he forgot his oath as his love for sports was definitely over-ridden by his love for his country.

Dad, my pillar of stregth!

Dad had this amazing capacity to empathize with the experiences of his children. The joy in their success, the pain in their failures, and the hurt in their disappointments were all his. He would feel it and he would stand by them through thick and thin. Personally, he was my pillar of strength, my support, my encouragement, and my inspiration.

Most of what I achieved in life was for him! His belief in what I could accomplish drove me and propelled me. However, whatever he expected off me was never unreasonable or beyond my capacity. Looking back, I think all that he wanted, was for me to feel successful in my life.

I still fondly remember an incident that was a turning point in my life.

There was only about a month left for my II PUC final exams and I had not done my studies properly despite attending tuitions all year round for the important subjects. Now, there was so much to catch-up on and so little time that I didn’t know what to do. I knew that in his mind Dad expected me to do well, but I was wondering if I could really match it. Over dinner that day, I told dad that that I could not meet his expectations and that he should lower the bar down. I felt heavily disappointed with myself and I remember telling him between sobs that I could perhaps try for a 50% and that I would be fine with not being able to join an Engineering College, though that was what I wanted with all my heart. I still remember him chewing on his Chappati on my predicament. He then calmly went on to say, “You do your best and leave the rest to me! Even if you get a 35% (which was the passing marks) I will get you into an Engineering College”. I did not expect this reply and I didn’t know what to make of it. I knew that getting admitted to an Engineering college with low percentages meant that it would cost a lot of money! However, at that age I did not really think about how my Dad would manage the money, but I did believe he could get me into technical college. His statement had a very important releasing effect on me. Now, I could still get into Engineering by just ensuring a passing percentage! A very comforting thought to fall back on. I remember going back from the dinner table and thinking that if Dad was willing to invest so much in me then why don’t I give it my very best shot instead of just giving up! I sat down with my sister and drew up a very tough study timetable. I studied night & day and completed my exams well. I got an 81% and I think I still finally managed to match up to Dad’s expectations. I remember the joy I saw on his face, the same joy that I saw for every other happy occasion that he shared with me in life.

Daddy the Perfectionist

Daddy was the perfectionist I knew from my childhood. Throwing parties was a necessary pass time in the Indian Army, and daddy’s parties were just… perfect.

I remember we lived in Allahabad, in this huge bungalow with lawns surrounded by flower beds and beyond this was a vast expanse of land that was tilled and sown with whatever caught the fancy.

Daddy had once organized a ‘Dosa Party’ which had all the other officers and their families drooling for more(North Indians think, we southies eat dosas 24* 7). Dad had the setup arranged out on the lawns with Chinese lanterns put up for lighting. The effect was surreal that night as people milled about on the lawns enjoying Dosas, vada’s, and all other yummy dishes churned out by mom and her entourage of helpers and a cook who supported her. That was the only time a cook was allowed in mom’s kitchen as Dad hated anybody else cooking for him other than mom.

Dad’s parties were not boring as he made sure there was no lull in the conversation. By nature he was not as good a conversationalist as a narrator but party time was special. Especially with a peg or two in his belly he became the jolly good man we loved to be with. At that time all bachelors in the regiment were ‘sweeties’ for him and I became the ‘nana’ he loved.

There were many more parties he organized in the capacity of being the 2IC (2^nd in Command). In fact his organizational skills were well known and he would always be asked to lead the way for this purpose. He conducted the sports day once at the div level (the hierarchy in army goes like this – Battery, Regiment, Division…and so on). The event was a great success, and I was so bloody proud of my dad as he stood on the podium with the chief guest in the end. What I did not understand was that, why did daddy not give the vote of thanks instead of letting Shahane uncle to do it (that was a another colleague of dad’s Major Shahane). As usual my dad stood only in the backgrounds after the work was done. He was not the one to bask in the glory.

Parties at home meant – a headache for mom, shining brassware, gleaming crockery, new table cloths, freshly laundered bedspreads, exquisite flower arrangements, carpets well dusted…..in fact for that day we would even be scared to sleep on our beds. The whole atmosphere including the burning incense made us feel like we were in a place of worship. Even after dad retired the routine was followed the only difference being – we were the sepoys taking his orders. I became the master – brass- shiner and dad used to nod his head in assent.

It is not that dad did all this to win the approval of anybody….in fact as far as I remember our Christmas breakfast was a celebration in itself.

Before we kids got up our parents would arrange for the breakfast. Dad would be in charge of arranging the table and mom the cooking. Dad would bring out the Bangladesh tea cups (I have inherited those, though now they are good enough only for display), wine glasses, fresh napkins and the final outcome would be a table fit for the queen. We would quietly eat our cakes, clink our wine glasses and feel like royalty themselves.

Dad’s hospitality was well known in the family circle. From the welcome drink to the paan beeda in the end…everything would be perfect. Even my friends who would come every Christmas remember the good food dished out year after year along with the war stories they loved to hear.

Dad and mom made it a point to be there for every birthday of my kids. Dad would help me out in the arrangements. He once brought thermocole cut-outs from Bangalore and fixed them on the walls himself. He showed keen interest to know how I would arrange the décor for that day and make useful suggestions.

With age his contribution would be limited to giving instructions…there he would be instructing and I following him to the ‘T’ and suddenly I would be transported to my childhood days thinking “This was how it was during ‘those’ days”.

When it came to his 70^th birthday he wished to celebrate it with the same grandeur and of course we all helped him do that. Seeing his thrill on receiving gifts I wondered if he felt like the boy he once had been. After the party as we all sat there in the dining room opening each gift he was keen to know who- gave- what. A gift given by his brother (a framed verse on dad) touched him a lot. As he sat there chewing on a toothpick and watching all of us uncover each gift, he seemed relaxed …contented in life.

As I watched my brothers and Beschi arrange for dad’s funeral making sure the lace table cloth was put on, the carpet was clean, the flowers were well arranged…and the many other details that went into making his funeral one of the best I witnessed, I knew they did for him, the man that he was….the perfectionist. There was no other way we could bid him goodbye.

Kargil for me

This stay with my father in Kargil was something that I'll never forget, being the oldest of the children and around 12 years old, these memories became a part of my experinces that I went on to narrate in my adult life (obviously to people that would care to listen). I remember the "Bukhari" (the coal heater)that Ajay is talking about, without which we would freeze I'd say.
The landscape (sorrounded by towering peaks and mountains) outside was spectacular (wish we'd captured it on camera - nevermind), I remember we could see a triple peak, what they

called the "Trishul" these were pickets (20 odd thousand feet) bordering Pakistan from our glass house bedroom. Another time I remember us being chased by wild dogs, us (me and other kids) running away at top speed with my brother and sister in tow on either of my hands (what can you say...we beat them chaps to safety).
Besides those secret outing us kids had trekking down around 150 feet of trecherous pathways to the "Suru" river in the afternoon's on the quiet without informing our parents.
Then once dad took us to some display Artillery firing (culmination of an excercise)along with families of other officers, to observe the canons booming on to targets up the peaks (we had to observe them with binoculars as they were real high), and in the breaks we'd hang around unmanned observations post bunkers with magazineless sten guns ying around and me and the other grown up kids would pick them up to play around with it, obviously till we got discovered and told off.
Dad was central for us in all our experiences in life, he liked it that way and we appreciated that way too.

High-altitude Posting

This was when he served his high-altitude 2 year period (1978-1981) posting at Ladhak-Kargil sector. He held the position of second-in command here.

The officers are permitted to bring their families for a period of 4 months during their tenure. I vaguely remember our stay there in a glass house with bunker beds ! It was very exciting for us! I remember a big Sigri (coal heater) was at the center of the house, though I don't think we used it as it was summer time.

There are many more exciting memories of those 2 months, but most of mine are formed by the stories told by my brother, sister & parents. Maybe my siblings can pitch in here as they were old enough to know what was happening!

An uncorrupted Indian who stuck out like a sore thumb!

Yesterday we had been to the local sub-registrars office as we (the children of Lt.Col. S.A.Maria Dass) wanted to release our share of the inherited property over to his wife and our mother. All this because my father failed to make a formal will!

The sub-registrars office was a typical Indian government office. A shabby run down home converted to an office with second hand furnitures, plastic chairs and bits of paper strewn all over the place. On one side of the wall hung a huge portrait of Gandhiji with a Sandalwood garland decorating it! I never understood why they have this, were they hoping somehow that they would finally learn what Gandhiji stood for just be looking at his portrait! It really escapes me why these government officials make such a spectacle of themselves!

There is a huge idealogical difference between the man in the portrait and the men working below the portrait. The man in the portrait stood for truth and honesty, he denied himself the pleasures of life to serve the people of this country. The men below the portrait stood for the ultimate corruption eating into the fabric of this country like wood borers! A stark contradiction! I wish these men could at least not be such hypocrates.

The sub-registrar through her pimp demanded a sum of 6000Rs to do her work! We pleaded with her that this would be too much to pay for a widow who lived on her husbands meagre pension. But, she stuck to her guns and said that she needed that amount as it gets distributed to everybody. Everybody, implied "everybody" from the pimp, to the neta!! We parted with the amount for fear that our job wouldn't be done, finally becoming a part of the organized corruption run by "everybody. The goons extract hafta, the police extract hafta, the government servents extract bribes thats no different from a hafta, and all these people operate on the fear of helpless people!

A few people like my father didn't easily give in to such fears. I still remember how he used to boldly walk into the chairmans office and tell him, "I am from the Army. I fought the most severe wars to defend people like you and I never asked for more than my salary!". That was usually enough to bring down the most strict IAS officer's to their knees!

There is one humble request I would like to make to all serving and retired defence personals. Please don't corrupt the Indian Army. The Indian Army is a prestigious institution and my father lived to uphold its honour and glory to his death. He stood for the true gunners moto -
"Sarvatra Izzat-O-Iqbal” (Everywhere: With Honour and Glory).

He hated the Army for what it was becoming! He couldn't come to terms with the politics and corruption wrecking the foundations of this great institution!

Memorial - First Year Anniversary

Its already a year and it feels like just yesterday when he was amidst us, alive, and making a difference to our lives. But, now that he has gone, the difference he has made is even greater.

“A precious one has gone from us,
A voice we loved is stilled,
His place is vacant in our home
And we know it can never be filled.”

Today every bit of memory about him is dear to us, as they say; when the love of life is stilled the love of memory begins.

Dad lost his father at a young age and was a boarder through most of his schooling days. During his growing years he was a keen athlete and a great hockey player. He graduated from the Indian Military Academy Dehradun, and was commissioned as a regular officer. He has the distinction of attending operation Ablaze, 1965 and operation Cactus-Lily, 1971, during his 32 years of service. He was a brave man and a true patriot. While most people speak about honesty, he actually lived it. He was a man of great faith, which not many were aware of. He never considered himself to be any less a sinner, but held fast to his faith till the very end. He was an ardent devotee of St. Anthony and never failed to credit him with all that he achieved in life.

Dad was truly an extraordinary man! He was a loving father, who stood by his children through their times of trials and supported them unconditionally.

Inches away from death - 1971 East Pakistan Liberation

Here is a story that I have heard many times from my dad! One of those many "war" stories that he used to so fondly narrate!

During the 1971 Bangladesh Liberation, dad was serving up at Bomdila, NEFA (now Arunachal Pradesh), as a Battery Administration Officer. His division deployed along the Chinese border was withdrawn and redeployed along the East Pakistan border in preparation for the expected war. Finally, as the operation got moving he was part of the Brigades that were sent for the Dhaka thrust. The objective was to capture Dhaka.

While closing in on Dhaka, they made their way forward, taking cover behind broken down buildings amidst heavy firing and shelling. Dad was along with his telephone operator, as one accompanies every Battery Commander. They were huddled behind a broken wall when suddenly a shell landed nearby. The sound of the blast was defeaning and it took them by surprise. A thick fog of dust, debris and shrapnel ensued. As the air slowly cleared out, my dad blessed God as he found himself totally unhurt. Not even a single shrapnel had caught him! He shouted aloud (as his ears was still ringing) to his telephone operator and asked him if he was alright. The poor guy replied in Hindi, "Haan Saab, sab teekh hain", and slumped into my fathers hands seconds later! Dad realised that the man was injured and tried to support him up. Blood gushed out from a wound near his belly and into his hands. It wasn't long before the operator died! Later he found that a big piece of shrapnel had cut across his entire stomach.

Every time dad recounted this story he used to end it saying, "That splinter struck the operator but it could have so easily been me, as I was but just inches away from him!".

The Sportsman

Dad was a top hockey player who played for Signals and Southern Command in various important tournaments. During these tournaments he has had the opportunity to cross sticks with players who have brought home the Olympic gold!

During his formative years he was a keen athlete too!

Here is a list of his achievements :

Hockey


Dad during his golden years at king George's!

Dhyan Chand Hockey Tournament (1957) - Represented Signals Corps
Abidulla Gold Cup Hockey (Bhopal-1957) - Represented Signals Corps
Bombay Legue (1958) - Represented Signals Corps
Inter Services Hockey (1959-1961) - Southern Command
All India Schools (1953) - Mysore State, School Eleven
Indian Military Academy (1961) - Academy Eleven

Athletics

Prasanna Kumar Memorial Athletics (1953) - King George's School
B S A A (1953) - King George's School
School Individual Athletics Champion (1952,1953) - King George's School

Guard-of-honour's

Well, some of life's highs! Shaking hands with the "Supreme Commander of the Indian Armed Forces" (1974-1977), His Excellency, President Dr. Fakruddin Ali Ahmed !!

Guard-of-honour to Lt Gen JK Puri, PVSM, AVSM 01 Feb 1986 – 31 May 1987 (Eastern Command)

Military Details

Personal Number - IC-14200F

Wars fought

1. Indo-Pak conflict - 1965 (as a Captain)
   Operation Ablaze (counter intrusion\war mobilization)
   
   
2. Bangladesh war - 9th December 1971 (as a Major)
   Operation Cactus-Lily (Indo-Pak war, East Pakistan) - 9th December 1971

Operations Served

1. Jammu & Kashmir Poonch sector - 1963, 1978



2. NEFA, Bomdila - 1968



3. Operation Samaritan (Assam, Rangiya/Hathigarh) - 1972



4. Ladhak, Kargil sector - 1978

Appointments Held

1. Gun Position Officer - J& K (1964)



2. Fire Control Officer - J& K (1965)



3. Fire Control Officer - Punjab (1967)
   
   
4. Mechanical Transport Officer - Punjab (1967)



5. Battery Administrative Officer - NEFA (1969)



6. Battery Junior Executive Officer - Assam (1974)



7. Officer Commanding 5 Karnataka Battalion (NCC) - Gulbarga (1976)
   


8. Second -in-command - Ladhak (1978)
   


9. Second -in-command - Allahabad (1981)
   


10. Officer Commanding 149 GL Sec - Trivandrum (1987)

Decorations

1. Sainya Seva Medal with Clasp (Himalaya)
   


2. Sainya Seva Medal with Clasp (J & K)
   


3. Raksha Medal - 1965
   


4. Sangram Medal



5. 25th Independence Anniversary Medal
   



6. Poorvi Star - 1971 (Bangaladesh)
   


7. Samar Seva Star - 1965 (indo -Pak war)



8. 9 Year Long Service Medal
   


9. Sainya Seva Medal with Clasp (Assam & Bengal)
   


10. 30 Year Long Service Medal

Courses and Examinations

1. Young Officers Course (1963)
   School of Artillery - Deolali
   


2. Junior Commander (Artillery Branch) (1965)
   School of Artillery - Deolali
   


3. Junior Commander (Infantry Branch) (1972)
   College of Combat - Mhow
   


4. Unit Security Officers Course (1982)
   Intelligent School Depot - Pune
   


5. Part A & B - For Substantive Captain
   


6. Part C & D - For Substantive Major

Wedding Day

The newly weds!! I am sure it would have been a great day for him!

The venue was St. Patricks Church, Bangalore followed by a reception at the Woodlands hotel.

The girl you see on the right hand side is Celine, dad's niece. It is interesting to know that in the absence of his parents (as they had passed away by then) he had arranged the marriage almost himself!

A month after marriage he left back to Ferozpur where his regiment was stationed. Thereafter, about 6 months later mom joined him at Ferozpur. I remember dad narrating this interesting anecdote on the arrangements he had made for mom and the extremities he went to about it :

He had organized the entire house and kept it all spic and span while expecting mom's arrival. He furnished the kitchen with every pot and pan that mom may need and had gone to an extent where he even carefully laid out the matchbox with a matchstick pulled out placed on top of it!! Yeah, wow!! That is my dad for you!
Unfortunately his intentions back fired as mom took one look at all the well decked kitchen and the matchbox with the single matchstick on it and thought in her mind, "Man, does this guy need a cook or what!!??" :-)

The grand family snap!!

The little boy in white shirt standing next to my mom is my mama Ravi! Right above him is Vimala auntie holding cousin Pradeep.

The man in suite next to dad is F.X. D'Silva. He is my dad's brother in-law. The bespectacled man next to him is my grand father, George Fernandez. The woman next to him holding the child is my grand mom Sulochana Fernandez.

Perhaps I'll tag the faces in the picture and upload it back again later, cause there are many more familiar people and family!

Tying the thali - after this your done for in life!!

This is the typical final act of the Indian Catholic wedding.

You can view an unusual amount of fauna around the alter, so much so that my grand dad had to hold up the veil from over the chairs :-)! This is typical of my dad's arrangements for dais's, he brings in all the pots and plants and it gives it that green appeal.

Chronology

Date of Birth - 09 July 1936 at Jabalpore (Madhya Pradesh)

King George VI Royal Indian Military College - 1948 - 1954 (Army Special)

Soldier in the Indian Army - 1955-1957 (Line Mechanic Grade - III)-1960

Indian Military Academy (Dehradun) - 1960-1962

Permanent Regular Commission - 11 December 1962

Date of Marriage (Mary Virgini Shantha) - 11 June 1966

Date of Birth of Child1 (Anthony Manoj) - 01 July 1968

Date of Birth of Child2 (Mary Nandini) - 05 May 1972

Date of Birth of Child3 (Patrick Ajay) - 25 March 1975

Date of Retirement - 31 July 1988

Date of Death - 23 September 2006

My Father

I started this blog to honor his achievements as an individual. Though, it isn't possible to separate him as an individual from the rank and position he held in the Indian Army or the honor he earned by fighting for his country.

The epitaph engraved on his tomb says it all :

Bravely he fought the battles of his country
And died beloved, respected, and lamented
In his death, think only this of him:
That there's some corner of this field
That is forever Indian